Hi everyone. I apologize for not posting in awhile; life.
I have been visiting dad every Saturday and have taken pictures which I will post here.
My visit today was very difficult on several fronts.
Being the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I find myself wanting my dad’s forgiveness, I am not sure what for, but I feel it nonetheless. Which made today’s visit tough, Dad was very confused as to why he was at the Loving Home. He wanted to know why he was not at the Eddy (which is the assisted living place near me). I explained to him that he is in the best place he can be and that he is getting the best care we could get. It didn’t seem to register with him. This seem to hit me hard today. I know I am doing the right thing for him. I know he is in the right place. I know he is being cared for. I know he is safe. It’s just… today was hard.
Tomorrow being the 2nd anniversary of Paul (my brother’s) yartzheit didn’t exactly help either. I spent most of my adult life being angry with him and we had only started to mend our relationship in the last year of his life. I have made peace with myself and him.
Dad is declining, the Alzheimer’s is getting worse. I know this is what is supposed to happen, but seeing him get worse is not easy. Going through my first set of holidays without him at the table has been very difficult. This is such a horrible disease.
Sorry to end on a low note. Pictures below as promised.
Richard Goldstein 